Starting tomorrow, I think I will start every conversation with, "Verily, I say unto you..." I think this would make me a big hit in job interviews.
Ten Things to Say in an Interview for a Job You Don't Really Want All That Much
- "My scabs got better when I stopped itching so much."
- "...Nice to meet you. And say hello to my wittle fwiend 'Mister Wooby.'"
- (talking to self in compact mirror) "You're the bestest! In the whole wide world!! Yesss you are! Yess you are!"
- "Will there be room in my cubicle for my vintage sandwich collection?"
- "...Good god. Did you just fart?"
- "Sometimes I like to make a little raisin trail from my cubicle to the bathroom. It helps me remember the way."
- "So who did you sleep with to get this office?"
- "I find that most people, when asked to really think about it, don't appreciate the smell of parmesan cheese."
- "To boost coworker morale, I like to cover myself in yellow Post-Its and prance about the office while singing 'I Touch Myself.'"
- "Hoowee, I'm tired. Got any crank?"
