April 1999 Archives

I had to get it - the spectacular weirdness was just too much. I was at the checkout counter at the drugstore and I saw them - boxes of Pokemon products. I bought the "Pocket Monster," a kit of some kind that yielded a bloated yellow Peeps look-alike creature atop a yellow surfboard. apparently its name was "Raichu," and I guess he was one of the Pokemon characters. so I bought it. but the real prize in the box was the assembly instructions, quoted verbatim:

Our Company motto is "Give safe and enjoyable toys and dreams to children". That is why we research & improve out produets all the time. This might create out toys to be slightly different from each other amony same iteu depending. On the diffarent lots. As for as out product quality is concerned we pay extre affention.

colin and I went away for the weekend. we went to this resort on the north shore of lake superior. we only went there because they had a hot tub, we heard. and a pool. (indoor and outdoor, too!) hot tub, heated pool, extraordinary skies, chilly air, warm hands, wonderful food, calm lake (ocean, to me)...my senses have been grossly neglected.

I have these two flowerpots that just have dirt in them. nothing else. they used to have plants in them, but they died. probably from lack of light. but I still keep the dirt in them, hoping that something might magically grow. like the magical growth that often occurs on my cheddar cheese in the fridge. why is it that things grow where I least want them, and then when I want it, nothing grows?

I saw "Matrix" last night with colin. generally, I can't stand violent shoot-em-up movies. but this one actually had an interesting premise, even if keanu reeves was in it. it wasn't a bad movie. best use of gravity in a movie, ever. so many "whumps" and "uhhh's" and thuds. lots of hand-to-hand combat, and very little blood. I liked that. they made all the jujitsu (?) tae kwon do? look so easy. but all the gravity in the movie. everything seemed to constantly sink downward - in the stunts, everything. keanu reeves has that "what...? what...? I...don't understand..." expression down *pat*.

what I thought was a gumball was actually a jawbreaker. always check the density of your candy.

I collect snow globes. I found one at the SuperAmerica (gas station) near my house the other night for only 99 cents. can't beat that. it was a pastel-colored one with pastel-colored flakes and a pastel-colored chick in a lavender object, with "EASTER" crudely painted across it. when I brought it up to the register with my multi-grain cheerios and 1/2 gallon of milk, the cashier pointed to the snow globe and asked, "what the hell is that?"

I really want to go to jazzfest this year. my closest friend, melissa, is from the new orleans area. in college, that was the biggest perk because we always had a place to sleep and shower and eat wonderful food when we went to mardi gras. I've never sucked down so many bloody marys or oysters or trout almondine or maalox in all my life.

I can't believe 3Com would really get their panties in this tight a wad. and to make it happen to such a sweet guy! I hope he can milk it for all it's worth (*without* employing those tacky banners).

did I miss something? did I not look hard enough? what happened to the good old days when april fool's jokes abounded? like the time when I was little, and my dad read the local paper and saw that a plane had crashed into one of the university buildings where he taught, and he dashed out of the house faster than you could say "photoshop trick" to go rescue his belongings.